Don't Wait For Someone Else's Approval - NEW Monthly Newsletter!
We work for huge chunks of the year to ‘earn’ a week off. We restrict ourselves for days to ‘earn’ a meal out with friends. We spend all day putting everyone else first, before we can ‘earn’ just a few minutes to ourselves in the evening. Ladies, we’ve got it all wrong! You DON'T have to ‘earn’ love and care.
As a society we feel the need to push ourselves to the edge of our capabilities, before we deserve some time off. The concept of “hustle” at all costs is continually glamourised in our tech savvy world.
This concept of ‘deserving’ has really stood out to me recently in conversations - particularly with the women in my life, who often (myself included) feel they need a metaphorical permission slip to just RELAX for an afternoon.
So often we deny ourselves the sheer enjoyment of life, because we are focused on proving ourselves. From a young age we are taught the measures of our worth:
- Our appearance
- Our grades and achievements
- Our performance
- Our intelligence
We are taught that only when we have proven our worth to ourselves and others, we can ‘deserve’ a small amount of happiness. A small amount of time.
In fact, we crave and chase this outside approval before we even consider giving ourselves a break.
“I’ll book that holiday when I’ve lost 10 pounds"
“I’ll treat myself to a weekend break when I get that promotion"
“I’ll cook myself a meal, but only once I’ve sorted the kids/house/dog out”
If there was one thing I want women to realise, it is that just by existing on this planet as a sentient being, you deserve love, time and care.
A newborn baby has not ‘earned’ anything by society’s standards - yet, as a human being, he/she innately deserves to feel loved, to feel cared for. So often we forget that as we grow up, it is our duty to ourselves to carry on that love and care as a daily practice.
It doesn’t matter how many pounds you lost. It doesn’t matter how many things you ticked off your to-do list, or how many hours you worked this week. You deserve TLC, you deserve time and space to breathe. And even if you’ve not reached your goal yet, your mind, body and soul NEEDS that time along the way.
That is not to say you shouldn’t give life everything you’ve got, especially when it comes to becoming the happiest, healthiest version of yourself. What I’m getting at is, give yourself a little (or a LOT) of grace. Savour the journey, and enjoy balance and mindfulness along the way.
Schedule that day off in your calendar. Put the deposit down on that holiday. Book that week off work. Love yourself and your life NOW, in this moment.
You don’t need approval from your colleagues, or your family member, or your completed to-do list to say “go and have a day off”. The only approval you need is from yourself, and you know deep down that you are worthy of love and respect, regardless of circumstance.
So go and find small and big ways to love yourself today, this week, this month. You DESERVE it - but you knew that anyway!
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Have an incredible week.